a boy brushed red, living in black and white

2007-01-03T01:41:00.000+08:00

ah so this is the new year. well ushering the new year this time was a totally different affair from the last. no big party, no crates, just a few friends, a nice live band, and a dependable best friend as a date. hahaha, pretty cool, pretty cool.

but in the end malorie came all the way down to be with julius so ya hahaha. but i had a blast at walawala, and thats what matters!

2006-12-15T15:20:00.000+08:00

OKAY so many things have happened since my last post. today marks the one month since my a levels ended. it seems time has since become a blur. life has become void of routine. no wake up study sleep cycle anymore. am i missing it? hell no. hahahaha.

well our hong kong trip was a success, no major screw ups fortunately. and oh, we had a hell of a good time. especially the girls. well i dont have much photos. this one was when my dad brought them to this ulu seafood place, sorta like an east coast of hk. and it was hell good food there man.

and since their birthdays were so close we celebrated my dad's and jul's together. kinda weird seeing my dad hold my best friend's hand and looking so happy though, hahaha.

so gay. anyway after that rushed trip we had a week to relax and then there was prom. the prom king nominations were so 'har?' cause we've never heard of most of the candidates before. and the outfit i chose made me look like a limo driver/transporter/hotel manager. i just got sian of looking for something to wear la.

all ze men of ze sajc

yes the friends who make life pleasant in the classrooms and beyond

if you can see us you deserve a medal

ah the post a level life. oooh one more photo this looks like a levi's advert hahaha thats estee's big head

2006-10-05T23:27:00.000+08:00

there are things that stress does to people

hahahahaha

and then there's other things. which arent meant for this space.

on a happier note, i completed it!!!

turned out almost okay la, apart from the fact she's a tiny bit cock-eyed. well at least i like it. we, i like it. hmmm.

on a more serious note, i can really see the stress piling up among my peers. i mean, obviously you dont get to experience this in sas right. people are getting very very irritable, i guess its just natural under these conditions. somehow i feel the stress too, and i hope i dont get too irritable. and most of the people around me have been really supportive. my parents especially. in an attempt to make life more comfortable in this uncomfortable period they pamper me, which is really cool in a sense. they dont nag, they dont get frustrated with my frustrations, and they really give me space. they really understand whats it like in a precarious situation such as mine. they occasionally tease me though like today my mum and dad got free tickets to vivo city's cinema pre opening screening to banquet and they PURPOSELY messaged me and told me to study hard. lucky they caught banquet hahaha. its probably going to be the last time i come here till the As are done with so, i wish all of you out there,

the best of luck. long is the way, and hard, that out of hell leads up to light. hahahah how apt, how apt.

2006-09-18T10:51:00.000+08:00

i was reading the newpaper yesterday and all those bimbos who wrote arsenal off deserve this : hahahahahaha STUPID.

arsenal won anyway. the past few days have been shopping and shopping and one movie. sigh, i planned to watch tonnes and tonnes of movies but well. okay my quota's ending soon so, its back to the books after tmr. and ive spent so much money already. and its merely a few days, cant imagine what'll happen after the As.

and im way beyond myself this time man, way way way. hahahaha.

2006-09-04T21:38:00.000+08:00

hahahaha my love,

2006-08-31T00:24:00.000+08:00

sigh econs made my index finger sore, hahahaha. we tried studying after our paper but me hafi and tk were all just so tired. came home to slack (which i havent done for such a long time). and not surprisingly it feels so good, plus i had a nice juicy steak which i cooked. now i know how to properly marinate so it comes out real juicy man.

okay inhale,
exhale.

let's do this again.

2006-08-24T00:40:00.000+08:00

current scoreboard:

phyics 1 - 0 nick
economics 1 - 0 nick
math 1 - 0 nick
gp 1 - 0 nick
stress 7000 - 1 nick (oh yeah nigga)

anyway this is me and good friend seetoh

2006-08-12T23:01:00.000+08:00

i would kill to have someone to talk to.

2006-08-09T11:28:00.000+08:00

well rapture was alright alright only, sadly. maybe its cause we cant appreaciate the art of dance and stuff. and everyone dressed up, like they alwyas do cause its rapture, plus this year it's at the esplanade so yeah its gotta be a bit more formal. anyway i only have one picutre so here goes

2006-07-31T23:49:00.000+08:00

its like the kid who's always trying to please the dad. its like the really smart student with little flaws. its like the younger brother who loved his older brother. its like the boyfriend who thought of his girlfriend more than anything else before he did things,

yet its like the dad who thinks the kid's always up to something. its like the teacher who never saw the good side of the student. its like the older brother who never trusted his younger brother. its like the girlfriend who stubbornly believes that her boyfriend things of everyone except her.

unbelievable.

2006-07-20T22:34:00.000+08:00

oh hey meet my friends who accompanied me to study today, you cant see them, but i did. hahahaha.

and there was this secondary school couple next to me, openly frenching and and the guy was like groping her breasts the whole time in public. hmmmm. and there was this group of poly guys who said (if i remember correctly)..

' (a-top-five-jc) students ah, dont give a fuck about everyone else, because their singapore's best, and they know it.'

hahahahahahaha.

2006-07-14T23:39:00.000+08:00

i came across a folder named europe in my photos and ohhhhh i loved that europe trip last dec. cause it was only the four of us!

the first night in frankfurt, the jacket looks crumpled cause i used it as a blanket during the flight hahaha

the drive on the autobahn

me and the retard hahaha

the famous shopping street in milan

my dad thought it was too expensive so we didnt take a ride, in venice, walaueh

sunset in venice!

st. peter's square, where hail started falling on us

the colosseum!

the parliament house of the world cup winners

switzerland, and my dad being so amused that the shirt i hung out to dry became an icy block with stellamites hahahaha

still got some more but im lazy to upload already lah, next time!

2006-07-14T22:40:00.000+08:00

pirates 2 was exceptional! i really dont mind watching it again hahaha. good combination of wit and action and romance, its a must-watch okay! i got back my gp and my retarded teacher blew a huge bubble only to burst it yesterday. she told that i was the only student who did the essay qn which i attempted and she heard that that person who did the qn that i did did very well. hahahahaha. anyway i got 27/50, it turns out that only TWO people did it. and the other guy got 45/50 walauuuuu psycho.

a definite puke-bowl filla :
http://theredcollection.tblog.com/

ru dont fret over the results! hope the munchies i left at your place will cheer you up hahaha.

2006-07-10T18:34:00.000+08:00

i was so stunned all i could say to myself was wtf. seeing zizou slam his balding crown into the opponent's chest was the dramatic moment of yesterday, though i really believe it was staged. i think the finals was all staged, lah. retarded. the worst finals ive seen out of the three.

2006-07-09T15:25:00.000+08:00

okay i discovered something ludicrous last night. walau really ridiculous and pretty hilarious come to think of it. hahaha. okay since ru complained im too drama mama on my blog i shall tone down a bit. in the end 2 of us talked a whole lot of shit.

anyway the third fourth placing was an okayokay match, and zong yet again zonked out on me. cant wait for the finals though i think im watching alone sian. i watched the notebook on dvd yesterday, and its a great watch though the cliched development can be seen through even by someone as dumb as me. after that me and roo went to kovan to eat and bought durian and sat at some place with an awful lot of construction workers to eat them. should have bought the more expensive ones man, the ones we had kinda sucked.

'the things girls say really just make us go 'huh..?'.' hahahahahaha

2006-07-07T17:13:00.000+08:00

oh my god call of duty 2 is so much fun! hurhur im already addicted which isnt such a good thing i guess. hahaha im home again, i realise im home much earlier than usual these days, good thing actually.

think tmr im going to zong's to play fifa till the match! hahaha sounds fun okay later.

2006-07-05T21:23:00.000+08:00

well as expected, my results are yet again dismal. well, whats there to do now. at least ru came over to cheer me up a little, but its like dying off now.

econs left to get back! not a very exciting anticipation, lah. anyway, ALLEX LES BLUES! go france.

2006-07-03T20:50:00.000+08:00

im listening to massive attack's old album mezzanine and boy it is so good. its a very dark and like, mysterious form of them, compared to their later albums. hahaha sounds corny right. and the bass is rattling my ceiling i love my system hurhurhur.

walaueh so preoccupied that you dont even reply me.

2006-07-03T14:27:00.000+08:00

well everyone abandoned me so im home without anything to do! im dying to go out because i promised that after i get back my horrendous bt2 results i'd start studying, so technically, today's like the last day of 'freedom'. and roo's out having a feast argh.

i just watched indiana jones raiders of the lost ark on dvd. dont ask me why i rented it i just felt like it. gosh its such a cool show i cant wait for indy jones four to be released! electrico said their new album will be less 'pop-ish' and more on the 'rock' side but if you ask me, sounds pretty much the same! im not complaining i liked the old album hahah.

2006-07-03T00:59:00.000+08:00

we won the finals! old news but hahaha. and my blocks are already over. i guess that crap about transferring all our energy into studies turned out to be a stupid goal in the end because, inevitably, i think ill do badly int he blocks. and when i mean badly its not in the hci context like 'c's, its like, 'hmm i should be able to get an 'o', lah, if i lucky, lor'. hahaha and before the block tests i was talking to xavier about how're we going to fare in the tests, and yet again inevitably, 'die already sia'. its as if its mandatory to say that line before every major exam hahaha. seriously, we've said that4 times already and indeed, we've 'died' four times.

so i think our predictions will reveal to be true again. okay back to more important news, france are through to the semi-finals and england are through, fullstop. hurhur if you see this roo, or tiff or sherelynn, or any england fan for that matter, dont be disappointed, more cute players will be available in the england team for you girls to admire in four years time and we will see rooney red-carded again, entertainment lah! other than the red card the whole match was utterly boring, everyone sitting on my couch and my rug totally agreed.

i spent the whole day with dvds and waiting alongside the phone, and tmr i think it'll only be the latter cause i only have one dvd left, and everyone's busy with their girlfriends or boyfriends, and mums. hahahah. aiya enough of my sad life la. ill go listen to the new electrico and lostprophets albums now.

2006-05-10T20:22:00.000+08:00

as we march on towards the finals, i would like to remind you that we were one-year-olds the last time sajc made it to the finals. yes, seventeen years ago. and to be part of this team, is an ultimate honour. we're going to give everything we have within us,

and after the season, we're going to put all that energy into studies.

2006-05-04T21:48:00.000+08:00

on our way to jul's place i believe.

I MISS THOSE TIMES MAN

2006-05-01T21:46:00.000+08:00

the past two weeks have been -

2006-05-01T21:24:00.000+08:00

do you hear the jet plane
yawning miles across the sky.
hear the garbage truck
back down the boulevard
setting off the car alarms as it passes by?
do you hear the static
of one thousand detuned radios?
shut the window love i dont want to think about anyone.

but the footsteps are getting louder
drowning out the sound of the rain
as it knocks on the windowsill.
im not answering the phone let it ring.
lately ive been feeling like a falling bomb.
the ground is getting closer
and the sky is falling
down.

this song is brought to you
this song is brought to you

by a falling bomb
by a falling bomb.

a song brought to you by a falling bomb - Thursday

2006-04-22T14:20:00.000+08:00

the rjc match went fairly well, though we lost. of course i'd have preferred that we won, but hey, its rare you see the team playing with such passion and focus, with such determination and togetherness, and though i didnt play, my teamates have my respect.

2006-04-07T21:51:00.000+08:00

GOSH its been a long time la. they bloody took away my tagboard. and ru thinks ive come online to flirt, hurrrrr.

2006-02-24T23:29:00.000+08:00

okay so after training i headed down to zong's place to watch brokeback mountain cause he's returning the dvd to his aunt tmr. i mean gosh, the show's pretty sensual. and im kinda alone with him in his bedroom, and he's lying face down on the bed. god..

2006-01-31T00:52:00.000+08:00

rarely do i believe in circle's of trust. i think its an overused phrase. but i do believe in this one. haaha thanks for the beer bro!

2006-01-28T17:53:00.000+08:00

oh you know what i realised, because i havent had the computer, i didnt wish estee a happy birthday here yet. so here goes,

happy birthday tateto (the word replaced sucks hahahahahaha). i hope what you say is true ah, that brudders cant be replaced. i know im a little late but i didnt get a comp! solly. and its about time you bought me an alcoholic drink already.

2006-01-27T23:03:00.000+08:00

okay its been a long time. god training was so shacked out today. we ran about 4.8 clicks, sprints actually. went shopping and got only ONE shirt for new year. ONE. sjp. im not feeling the cny very feeling this year. maybe cause im not going to penang. i miss penang. anyway a happy new year everyone!

2006-01-18T22:54:00.000+08:00

'im not going to let you suckle on my breast'

the fucking line of the year, so far. almost gave me a heart attack, seriously.

2006-01-15T17:44:00.000+08:00

ah well, so the rsn tens are over. was in team 'A', but dont be fooled, we're not the better team. hahaha. team 'B' won the cup. well i coundnt say for sure our team tried our best in our games but, i sure had fun. and i didnt mind the experience. but our team captained almost died of frustration and i could always see that sense of flaming rejection in his eyes.

and im burnt on my face, again. damnit. im black as ever. physics test tmr, hello.

2006-01-10T00:06:00.000+08:00

a delicious one-sided dinner and a long pleasureable bus ride made my day today. and weiyann you have a new admirer! hahahaha.

2006-01-08T21:35:00.000+08:00

surf and turf (in suntec) sirloin steak/grilled crayfish combo! heavenly shit man. a bit pricey but hellll.

so comes the end of the first week. man im already feeling the stress, and the exhaustion. with training already starting, and school into full swing, im having less and less time. which means less time to spend with her and my family and my friends. which means, shit.

well, pre-season coming up! which is ultimately good lah, for me, if i can stay in the team though.

2006-01-06T23:35:00.000+08:00

full of bullshit, thats all i can say. as what zong said, protect the students my ass. and lc can eat my shit too. hahahahahaha, oh sour grapes taste the worse.

2006-01-02T02:05:00.000+08:00

it comes to point, where doubt's the last thing we need. is it doubt, or just a lack of faith. it comes to a point, where hope is actually denying reality. it comes to a point, where i fail upon the newyear resolution i just made a mere 12 hours ago. it comes to a point, my mind clouds up and im so afraid i misinterpret that i actually do. it comes to a point, the doubts people used to have about you slowly creep up and taps me on the shoulder, and reminds me that i failed them before. it comes it a point, that i know im going to disappoint my parents again. it even comes to a point that i realise i can never really satisfy them.

it comes to a point, that i embrace the fact that im a huge failure in every aspect of my life. and i havent done anything much about that in 2005. so much for the first day of 06.

2005-12-31T13:36:00.000+08:00

'what we do in life, echoes in eternity'

so, what will i do that will echo in eternity?
what have you done?

2005-12-29T01:16:00.000+08:00

we're a few days away from 06. and, looking back at this year, i realised ive made serious mistakes throughout. ah i beat myself up about that from time to time.

but! ive made some wonderful friends too. like, i finally got to know that serious-attitude-problem-cedarian-with-the-stern-face-and-averylow-ripcurl-bag. hahahaha i still remember lah. and like, whatre the odds of my neighbour turning out to be my classmate. but, old friends grew apart too. or perhaps i wasnt really close to him in the first place eh. hmmm.

today we had the historic move over to the village. personally, i think instituitional buildings such as jcs should be a two-tone colour scheme, or at most three. whats with all the colours, i mean it makes it look like we're compassville pri school or something. apart from the colours, the building itself seems alright, i dont understand why people keep bitching about the structure. i mean, the architects were given a very tight budget cause we're ONLY sajc, not rjc nor ac. people dont realise this, they just go on condemning the building and architects blindly. lets see you do better with the same budget lah. fuckers.

movingggg on. hahahah. got a peek of our classrooms and stuff. well there'll be no airconditioning in classrooms. i dont think it'll bother me much, since i've been in classrooms without aircons for 10 years anyway. the campus's layout is i think more logical than the previous! but hell well miss the previous one.

it used to be like that.

2005-12-27T21:45:00.000+08:00

estee, why you so upset?

hahahahaha.

2005-12-27T01:11:00.000+08:00

so today marks the end of a misery and the start of my fairytale,

fabulous.

2005-12-23T00:42:00.000+08:00

okay so i bought another black and gold shirt. boy am i easily influenced. christmas is finally here, and, im kinda psyched. with new friends this year, its probably going to be a blast. so hello 06, welcome.

2005-12-21T00:04:00.000+08:00

THANK YOU GUYS FOR BEING WITH ME TODAY! and thanks hl for the card.

2005-12-19T00:25:00.000+08:00

well, as estee says, lesson learnt. sigh, the hard way.

2005-12-18T18:41:00.000+08:00

be with me,

2005-12-16T17:35:00.000+08:00

that was the second best day of the year, i can conclusively say (though the year hasnt ended).

2005-12-14T00:44:00.000+08:00

and when i look into your eyes..

2005-12-12T20:46:00.000+08:00

today we played touch for most part of the training, and then we watched the navy game video which i looked really stupid in. so anyway after that we had lunch at macs and a major major talk cock session with marcus. hahah that guy is seriously funny. last 'training' is on wednesday with a match against ntu, which i heard is damn tough.

and after that its my season, hoho. dont think anything's up though.

2005-12-08T11:22:00.000+08:00

so the past few days have been really busy, catching up on reality at home. finally 5th december came and the big party started! was really good just chilling with the guys and girls. after that someof them crashed my place and we slept at 6. hahaha. went out with some of the 8 after that to just let loose. then yesterday i overslept and missed training for the first time! sorry captain haha. went to meet the guys to watch aeon flux. very futuristic indeed. ate some shit steak at hans for dinner. hur, but damn cheap.

2005-12-07T13:57:00.000+08:00

all hands on deck,
dont abandon the ship,
you'll never know what it could have been.
all hands on deck,
my ship is sinking,
dont let me go, dont let me drown

2005-12-07T13:40:00.000+08:00

god please, help me overcome my fears. tell me its going to be alright and ill do it.

2005-12-05T12:22:00.000+08:00

i feel like a gladiator. hurhur.

2005-11-28T17:31:00.000+08:00

hur okay so im sitting in front of the computer in roma.

hello everyone, hahaha.

2005-11-18T13:23:00.000+08:00

im like, sitting in the sia first class lounge now, taking full advantage of their free computers.

show off.

2005-11-17T23:34:00.000+08:00

well, ill be missing out on m1 10's, sea games, harry potter, lots of parties and basically home.

but im gonna have a hell of a time there anyway.

2005-11-17T11:43:00.000+08:00

christmas.

2005-11-16T00:00:00.000+08:00

happy birthday julius tan.

we've come a long way brother.

2005-11-15T12:42:00.000+08:00

thanks malcolm! youre such a nice, sweet, caring, affectionate, compassionate, and loving guy. thats cause you've sent me about 20 albums. hahahah.

going to meet the usual gang later, dont even know what im going to do. friends, friends. sometimes i feel like xavier man. like i dont really have any.

2005-11-12T16:38:00.000+08:00

You Are 90% Boyish and 10% Girlish

You have a tough exterior - and usually a tough interior to match it.You're no nonsense, logical, and very assertive.Sometimes you can't understand women at all, even if you're a woman yourself.You see things rationally, and don't like to let your emotions get the best of you.

How'>http://www.blogthings.com/howboyishorgirlishareyouquiz/">How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

to all those who think im feminine!

2005-11-12T01:19:00.000+08:00

today should be labelled pool day. cause i played so so much pool. before and after training. ohhh but had carl's jr after training. damn full now. its now officially dad's birthday so, happy birthday dad! saw the pimp in action today hahaha, and saw sem too. hello sem! m listening to we dont care anymore by story of the year, and i guess it applies so much to current situation. or perhaps the other half of we. well.

had that bloody saq drill during training so im quite shacked now. sleep i can hear the bed calling. goodnight everyone. oh and ESTEE IS RETARDED.

2005-11-10T22:25:00.000+08:00

first up, seetoh's chalet! so me liang weiyun gerald were being good samaritans and volunteered to buy the foodstuffs and the extras for the chalet. met up at four at bedok with the original plan of going to er, sheng song?, but ended up in giant eventually. we got everything and cabbed down to the chalet, and by the time we reached it was about 5? and then we waiiiitttteeeddddd till about 645 when yw the hero/saviour came down with the keys.

so us, the good samaritans again, tried setting up the fire. it went well till, tmd, started drizzling. so we brought the bbq pits under the shade but the smoke filled the chalet till it was like psi 400. so we decided to put out the fire. and then when the rain sort of died down we tried to start it again. after much fanning exercise and workout the flames came on and we started cooking. the rest came but, with immediate effect, there was this segregation. it was pretty weird. hmm, had a bit of alcohol and well, again, the guys with low tolerances went all high(but not mighty). where's malcolm when you need him! yeah but it wasnt as bad this time. we stayed up the whole night spooking ourselves with ghost stories. and in the midst of one of them, this loud baby-cry came from outside our doors. we all zipped for three seconds before we calmed ourselves down. and realised it was a cat. then another cat started making that noise, and we realized it was two cats fighting. spoooky.

the next day had op! im so glad its done with. went down to zong's to check up on him after that. gosh his home physio sessions bring him so much pain. stay strong, stay tough, man. after that went to meet the sciencetech guys for a movie. the exorcism of emily rose, a must watch for horror fanatics. its not exactly a very scary movie but, the plot's real cool to accompany the scares. after that went down to src and arthur gave us all a treat! woohoo. had quite a lot of food before heading home. sian tmr, gonna rot like a bloody idiot.

2005-11-09T12:48:00.000+08:00

silverstein

2005-11-09T01:02:00.000+08:00

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	5.9
Mind:	4.9
Body:	7.8
Spirit:	5.4
Friends/Family:	4.6
Love:	0.8
Finance:	5.5
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

2005-11-08T22:04:00.000+08:00

man do hospitals make people mood swing. it was so crowded around zong's bed so i just left myself to get a drink. sat down, and just well, aiyah. for a good half hour i think. everyone was talking to zong and keeping him company which meant that i had all the time to myself, which sometimes i think is good. to just be alone, i gotta train myself anyway. zong is in pain, man take care sia. making lots of people including me worried.

so well only julius and estee gave a heck, and juls came out to look for me eventually. man i love(plutonic please) that guy. yeah we went back to the bed. wanted to stay longer to keep zong company but, he already had all the company in the world so, aye. headed home with hl, phil, tateto and juls. thank god for estic and julthistic who cheered me up real good. if they werent there i would have been some dejected and neglected boy and jump off the fifth floor and break my leg and end up on the bed next to zong's. hahahahaha.

2005-11-08T12:31:00.000+08:00

zong get well soon man!

2005-11-05T22:28:00.000+08:00

EDITED.

yes, the year is coming to an end. the huge christmas trees and beautiful lights have already been put up, signalling the approach of christmas. and boy, this year has been, should i say, a journey.

and exactly a year ago, we were still secondary school students. about to take our o levels. hur, and almost a year ago, we were sitting in coffee club in paragon talking about our lives and amaths marks. its still so fresh in my mind. well before i get nostalgic and shit, yeah.

so junior college. was a close call, if not i would be doomed to yishunjc. hoho. the orientation was unforgettable in sajc. some of my closest friends are from that og. and, i caught a glimpse of, well.

my og, 15

then it was classes full swing after four days of euphoria. and thats when i met someone who would, change everything. the class of S91 was fantastic beyond measure, really. and with the sciencetech guys in there, it completed it.

some of the 91 people, excluding liang sheng,

the first thre months zoomed past, literally. and then came the o level results collection. gosshhhhh. the time when all our balls shrank. and kind mr tee liang sheng who collected his right before mine, offered to count mine for me and spare me the torment and shaking fingers. the figures floated out of his mouth and hit me in the face. fifteen? what the fuck. whoops but, honestly speaking, i was damn disappointed. but i had to hide that fact, i had to be sensitive. and all those who, didnt hit the mark, well. yeah. ill see you next year ARTHUR, and hopefully SHENWEI decides to come too. hahaha.

the tense moments and life decisions.

and by the stroke of luck, the call came in. his oh so sweet voice.

and back to 91, for the second time. at first i was skeptical, and kind of disappointed, because firstly she wasnt there and, sciencetech was nowhere in sight. but hell, i grew to love the class.

and on this journey ive met wonderful people, and the wonderful ones i knew before the journey stayed by my side

they seem to be all girls because i met the wonderful guys a long time ago, hahaha. and to, well top the list,

thats 2005 for me.

2005-11-04T00:52:00.000+08:00

friends and a heavy heart, sigh.

2005-11-03T23:48:00.000+08:00

PDA IN THE TRAIN, DISGUSTING.

2005-11-02T00:20:00.000+08:00

im going to miss this place really badly.

2005-10-30T23:24:00.000+08:00

our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. it is our light, not our darknes, that most frightens us. your playing small does not serve the world. there is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people wont feel insecure around you. we were all meant to shine as children do. its not just in some of us its in everyone. and as we let our own light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same, as we are liberated from our own fear. our presence automatically liberates others.

2005-10-30T00:52:00.000+08:00

i swear thrice is pure poetry.

atlantic -
cause my eyes are still open
and everything still moves in slow motion
breatheless and blue and
behind your eyes the sea
oceans of light envelope me

stand up and feel your worth -
we are fuel and fire both
we are water wed with wine and ghost

hold fast hope -
white death wakes in black skies, mark your makers wrath
fear and flames of azure climb the crooked mast
you will yet be baptized, steeped in shattered glass
sink and sing your answer and hold fast hope

2005-10-29T23:20:00.000+08:00

four science technical students, the roof top garden,
very very good friends,
xavier's vomit on malcolm's crumpler, a pool,

and the result is a very busy night.

2005-10-25T23:14:00.000+08:00

DOMINO, hell yeah. in my opinion a very good show, typical of tony scott, yet in this one he does too much of that shakey camera thing. but overall a good story. my second illegal entry! hahaha, and whats more, this was free. thanks chelsea/pam/hafi.

2005-10-24T10:41:00.000+08:00

my uncle called me vijay singh. ill take that as a compliment yes. the weekend has been fun. we hung out at the beach on saturday. its our, er, og/class clique. i wonder how that happened. ah we should have more beach outings. weiyun come on, organise another one! hahaha. so obvious im updating for updating's sake.

okay this is so hot.

2005-10-19T18:19:00.000+08:00

this goes out to all the people who didnt meet the promotion criteria. try your best to promote, and if you cant eventually, dont be angsty, and discover that god has chosen this path for you, so live it, its for the best. work hard and promote next year.

and for those who have, congratulations, but J2 isnt something easy. we have a lot ahead of us.

my wonderful class of 91.

2005-10-18T21:50:00.000+08:00

two megapixel versus vga. hahaha. no lah. and today we sneaked into 40 year old virgin. my god, criminals we are.

2005-10-12T17:15:00.000+08:00

you'll follow me back
with the sun in your eyes,
and on your own
bedshaped
and legs of stone,
you'll knock on my door,
and up we'll go,
in white white light
i dont think so,
but what do i know
what do i know,
i know.

6 dvds down, a million more to go. just caught 36, some french cop movie. and nope, its very much unlike hollywood cop movies. violent perhaps a bit, but the story, the character development, the speed of the movie, everything about the movie just makes me think the french are better film makers. every aspect of a hollywood film reveals an intention to make the biggest bucks out of it, whereas the french films are so sincere in wanting to tell a good script. kudos to foreign films!

2005-10-12T10:37:00.000+08:00

im able to post this because this is the first time in jc life i have not gone to school. this is because i am sick, in both ways hahah. no lah, have a terrible sore throat so now i sound really manly. plus this headache which, unfortunately has stuck with me since yesterday evening.

pretty sad to get sick at this time of the year.

photos! this first one was unplanned

retail therapy doesnt mean you have to buy it

past few days have been, unimaginably fun of course. until this damn syndrome came up. tmd.

2005-10-09T23:06:00.000+08:00

nicholas, get this out of your head yeah. like right now please.

and the principal's words ringing in my head, ' you've got no resolve'.

2005-10-09T17:19:00.000+08:00

this marks the end of innocence, sad but, a good experience anyway. there's so much time to do things that i planned to do. first up, dvds babeh.

2005-10-08T13:05:00.000+08:00

alas, its over. maths went pretty well, but i think the careless mistakes are going to get me killed, so lets not all get happy yet. and xavier is a whiny bitch who cant shop for nuts, he's also a humjikia and due to his fears, we didnt run through the spinelli fountain. damnit. town was absolutely flooded with sajc people yesterday, like every corner you see people you know, or recognise. training starts monday right after our spa, and i have a feeling we're doing pt, which coincidentally i really need right now hahaha. cheers to everyone, lets enjoy this break while we can yeah. off to town again!

2005-10-07T13:08:00.000+08:00

YOU SEE ERRRRTIME THAT BEAT GO,
WOH WOH WOH WOAH!

2005-10-06T22:49:00.000+08:00

can you smell the end?

2005-10-04T20:14:00.000+08:00

calm, cool, collected and ready for slaughter. you know like those chickens hanging upside down hung on a conveyor belt and slowly gradually being dragged into their death in those slaughterhouses? yeap, thats me right there, that dark brown chicken, silent, and resigned to fate. good luck to everyone anways!

2005-10-03T20:31:00.000+08:00

i am partly pissed, and im partly just purely disappointed. youre the one that made me realise im not so brother anymore, that im not that close to the sas peeps anymore. youre the one that cycled over to my house, to talk to me about it. so yes, i did try, and to a certain extent, i do believe i was succeeding. you want a fucking explaination as to why i dont call you out to study or whatnot? because i dont call anyone. i went to spinelli everyday by myself. you got that? people joined me along the way. so dont fucking try to use that against me. remember you were supposed to be at jalan kayu with us? all of us managed to turn up. all of us. and you shouting over the phone just doesnt do this situation any good. notice we just ate our despair and moved on no? maybe we're blowing up the issue, perhaps we're over sensitive, maybe we're petty bastards, or maybe we didnt even cross your mind. this is such a fucking major event, it involves one of our best friends. i hardly use this word because i abhor it, but whatever, seriously.

and im disappointed because the friendship of us four has disintegrated into this. and i was just thinking of my birthday the other day. having a small quiet celebration with all the st-ers. my god i discover im so blinded.

hello wenhui!

happy birthday liangsheng, though you didnt even reply my damn message! thought its so typical. we didnt think it'd affect all of you there, but typical too of gerald to make it everyone's issue. sorry then, on account of our behaviour.

2005-10-02T01:37:00.000+08:00

the straylight run playlist should be deleted from the ipod, really. its a bit too much for me. it keeps replying in my head, like a silent movie, and the people around me too ignorant to know whats going on, which is a good thing of course. glass splinters lie so deep in my mind. im not going to be some childish kid saying i hate life and everything about it. ah sigh. the second best thing in life, friends. actually thats the third. the second's friends who care. hahah. i dont make shit sense. anyway,

espresso double shots in the morning please.

2005-10-01T11:19:00.000+08:00

i was already awake, when september ended.

wake me up, when octobereight ends.

2005-10-01T00:19:00.000+08:00

lets get artyfarty shall we

now for the funny shit

thats zong in his natural state by the way. hahaha, studying really does something to the mind, apart from adding information to it. late nights at harbour, and getting chased out.

and rushan's mum, TAKE CARE! and grace too. and you too.

2005-09-29T00:10:00.000+08:00

the languages are screwed, i can say for sure. and harbourfront ferry terminal late at night is soon going to be inhabited by two crazy guys. people are always saying ' lets do an overnight at the airpot ' but yo, what about the harbour. lets bring it on ladies and gentlemen.

2005-09-27T21:55:00.000+08:00

1001 things you can do with a roll of cling wrap. hahahahaha.

2005-09-26T23:19:00.000+08:00

good luck to everyone, it begins tmr.

2005-09-25T21:56:00.000+08:00

totally unedited shot, by the way. the drink doesn't only taste good, but its the memories of the drink that makes it so special. we bought this as friends, we drank them as friends, and we reunited as friends to drink it again. its the rekindling value of the drink. the simple yet homely feeling of drinking the shots by the pool while making lots of noise and hollering at each other late into the night till the neighbours called the police came rushing back into my mind the last time i tasted this(which was a few months after that event). i remember we tried to hide this inside julius's swimming pool pump, because we were, and still are, underaged. and the 5 0 were at the doorstep. its this drink, we laughed, we talked, we bonded closer(if thats even possible), this drink, that we drank to. shen wei, julius, gerald, liang sheng, malcolm, arthur, yew wei. and it still packs a hell of a burn everytime i drink a shot.

sorrrrry weiyann. its this drink too that made me utter vulgarities. hahaha.

2005-09-25T19:09:00.000+08:00

wooohoo. i had my rendezvous with OMG(will explain) my mexicano at the coffee club again. im seriously addicted. OMG another bat damnit. it almost hit me. just used the brrom stick to smack the shitoutof it again. its spasming(we are softball champions after all). hahah, enough with the cockiness.

i would say studying was VERY good today. i finally overcomed my fear of oscills and waves. hah eat that. so, i have to chiong chiong chiong already. oh man/woman two more days two more days! the begining of the end. okay lah not so drama. the begining of something which we have been preparing for for so long. i hope this turns out well. i've got a (insert bad or good) feeling about this.

acetone - the crystal method
keep hope alive - the crystal method
these might not be everyone's cup of tea, hahah.

2005-09-25T00:00:00.000+08:00

the mexicano at coffee club. enough to keep you awake for 7000 years.

okay, 12(15)am - 2(15)am physics(mainly oscill and waves) intensive. oh by the way, structured qns topics, i know(presumably?) all of the topics tested. ask me lah. today's studying was rather bad, couldnt do nuts. DAMNIT. okay tmr, make up for lost times.

ill update next at 215am. BYE FOR NOW.

2005-09-22T22:01:00.000+08:00

sigh waiting for my sonicstage to convert all my songs. so decided to type some stuff. oh came back early today! was feeling tired and was having a damn headache. shit lah i think im falling sick damnit noooo my exams are next week. which reminds me. my revision is way lagging behind. but, i will try my best, prove to those asses that im not some lagi-never-study-chapalam student. wth, he said a few lines about me and im so affected. good lah. hahah.

and today during pe.. okay i wont mention names. what the hell lah. really. what the hell. jackass.

but i was scared to death of eternity, was saved by grace but destroyed by naivity
i should stop listening to straylight run. seriously. damnit. and she goes blatantly: who you kidding. childhood friends, hmmm.

and xavier you better keep to your word, im serious. hahaha.

2005-09-22T00:01:00.000+08:00

xavier and i made a deal. xavier, you better be a man, for on that day, i sure will be.

the whole class just pangseh-ed me today lah. was having a dead leg and the whole 8-1 just walked out like i didnt exist. went down to cafe, ready to buy food. as i sat there feeling like an idiot hahah. thank god for kind souls like dorcus, who doesnt even know me well, but stayed there to help me out. thanks! oh and bernice! thanks! not unpopular lah, just not popular. hahaha. different okay.

and i realise i feel so comfortable with sas-es(thats what zong calls us). like no worries about what you say, just say lah. if you feel like suaning, just suan. and perhaps get jacked back, but who gives a shit? this is the sas style(or at least 4st style). i realise i dont have to miss the class. the heart of 4st are all in sajc.

and the sun drips down bedding heavy behind,
and the front of your dress all shadowy lined,
the droning engine throbs in time,
with your beating heart.

duran duran - the chauffeur (the deftones cover)
man i used to be a hardcore deftones fan!

okay i seriously dont understand what the fuck is the problem with externalities. they dont even know me well. they dont even know what i feel. you think what, i didnt feel shit ah, i didnt feel a fucking thing ah, when it happened. im just cold ass guy is it. damnit. i know im getting damn vulgar nowadays. bear with me people, its a hard time. times like these makes me curse like no one's business.

2005-09-19T23:32:00.000+08:00

song lah song lah. obviously its there for a reason right? even though its a song. im already so fucking lonely and. shit just has to happen.

2005-09-19T22:56:00.000+08:00

when the sun came up, we were sleeping and,
sunk inside our blankets.
sprawled across the bed, and we were dreaming.
there are moments when, when i know it ends.
the world revolves around us.
and we're keeping it, keep it all going,
this delicate balance, vulnerable all knowing.

sing like you think no one's listening,
you would kill for this, just a little bit, just a little bit, you would,
sing like you think no one's listening,
you would kill for this, just a little bit, just a little bit, you would,
you would.

sing me something soft, sad and delicate,
loud and out of key, sing me anything.
we're glad for what we've got, done with what we've lost,
our whole lives laid out, right in front of us.

(a last song too, but you wont be gone)

i used to love this song. i still do. the piano introduction is just, beautiful. in a sense i gave what i loved to you. the monetary cost doesnt even matter. well, i hope you will still treasure it.

just came back from mal's place. had a short swim till i cut my hand. the regrets, they creep back. oh so dreadfully. i hate it. so all 3 of them went to work out at the gym, while i went to swim alone. swimming is the only thing i enjoy doing alone. takes my mind off the promos, the separation, the troubles, the everything. how the hell could i give up doing that every training? dont ask me. i should never make impulsive decisions anymore. well, next time i should think through it more carefully before making fucked up decisions. sorry, i have to curse. im a guy after all. now that there's no one really close to me (yet i hope), i guess it'll all come out here. its one of the advantages of not being popular and having thousands of visitors to my blog. hahaha. xav asked me today if i had any new 'targets'. hilary lah i tell you. no fyi!

oh and, we chanced upon a beauty at the carpark.

the lamborghini gallardo.

2005-09-18T22:52:00.000+08:00

duran duran. hahahah dont laugh, the music is good. okay i wasted a while bloody day in school, and im chionging my wr and ir now. buzz off.

2005-09-18T00:56:00.000+08:00

well i may have been wrong. some people do come here. anyway. i just have to bitch about something. disregard the bimbotic behaviour. i tooka late train home to serangoon. and yes i thought it was early enough to catch the last 53. soooooo i waited half a bloody hour. then i decided ' screw this' and started walking home. after about a click, when i was coming up to the bend into lorong ah soo. a 53 zoomed past me. impulsively, i shouted 'motherloving cheesebun lunchbox yougettheidea'. so okay, i thought. it cant get any worse. noooo, i started having a hell of a hard time trying to keep my piss in, i stepped onto a cockroach/or centipede i dont really know ( cause i was hopping around in the dark ), and when i walked past the bus stop i usually alight at, another 53 zoomed past. i swear something inside me imploded. so i was my gate and i checked my phone. FIFTEEN MISSED CALLS ( BY A SINGLE NUMBER - DAD ). i thought to myself in hokkien ' si liao, buai sai explain. ta pai bo tia ringtone eh, listening to music la never hear'. HAHAHA. i was expecting a thunderous scolding when my parents saw me. but no, the only good thing that happened tonight was them saying ' how come never answer '. hahah. i guess its cause im so bloody tired/down/moody these days, and they know better than to scold me.

i guess 'that blink 182 song' no longer applies.

2005-09-17T11:00:00.000+08:00

it looks like im the one not being able to get over it instead. i shouldnt make this blog too personal? but hell who gives an excrete, no one comes here anyway.

and she asks me,
what does that mean?
whats another word for desperate.
repition makes an impression.
whats another word for desperate?

hur. what ive given is used against me.
and i hate those bitches who undermine me.